perilousknits (perilousknits) wrote,

Meet the Cast

Everyone I mention in my blog is referred to by their super-secret nicknames.  Sometimes these names are the names they use in their own blogs.  Other times, I make up names for them, because I am evil like that.

Perilousknits:  Me. I was trying to come up with a unique and witty username, and everything I thought of was taken, but I finally ended up capitalizing on the fact that many of my friends are afraid of the way I wield knitting needles.  No one has lost an eye yet, but they worry.  

Sweetienookums:  My soon-to-be Ex-Husband.  A nice man, but it didn't work out.

PerilousKnit'sBro:  My brother.  Duh.

Snorty Stompy:  A close friend who once, no twice . . . maybe three times . . . saved my life and has been known to drive 400 miles one way to pick me up and give me a ride home.  We like him in spite of his broken volume-knob.  Can fix any household appliance or fixture.

Healer Woman:  My best friend and Snorty Stompy's main squeeze.  Because my mother failed to teach me certain life-skills before I left home for college, Healer Woman ended up being my "Finishing School" Headmistress.  Most of my practical daily-life skills came from her (and Dad, gotta give props to Dad).  She has also saved my life a few times.

Dad:  Dad looks like Red Green and has a similar reverence for do-it-yourself projects.  He is, fortunately, more successful at these projects than Red Green.  For fifteen years, Dad regularly packed a full month's worth of child-rearing into only two weekends a month.  My sense of humor is all his fault.

Narcissa:  My mother.  Poor woman, she has no soul.

Cousin B:  Cousin B used to be our roommate, but she got better.  The "B" once stood for Biosphere, but now it might stand for Breeder.  Or Babe-alicious.  Or Boobies!  Cousin B is a highly creative ex-Art Major who gives excellent advice on color-choice.  

Baby Daddy:
  Cousin B's husband, a right dude.  Shy, but witty and fun.  You can recognize him by his giant Afro.

Squidward:  Aka: The Squid.  Two weeks before the experts all say you should feel a baby moving in the womb, Cousin Biosphere felt her son wiggle around.  He never stopped wriggling, and she said she couldn't tell for sure if she was carrying a baby or a live squid. So . . . .

Medea:  Medea is Cousin B's mother, and that's the nicest thing any of us can say about her.  Like her ex-sister-in-law, Narcissa, Medea also has no soul.

Cousin Virgo: 
Poor girl, she sold her soul to Medea, who ate it.

Iolo:  The Real Iolo. His Super Secret Alter Ego makes crossbows and is Sweetienookum's business partner, sort of.

Klio/Meritahut: Our friend who used to live in Austin, and still owns a condo in town, but who Abandoned Us for New York City.  Just because she was raised there, and the industry where she prefers to place her career is head-quartered there and she was offered a job and her mother still lives there.  Lame-ass reasons to move away, if you ask me.  She draws a fabulous webcomic.

YoungRene:  My best friend from High School, who lives in town and sometimes comes over to my house to hang out.

Nickname Pending:  YoungRene's boyfriend, who is only just learning how truly insane are most of his SO's friends.  See what you got yourself into, Nickname Pending?

Dona G:  aka Her Excellency the Baroness.  My mentor (and dona) in the SCA.  The inspiration for many of my best pranks, the pickiest seamstress in the known world and the pickiest eater in the universe. She has other nicknames, but only family get to use them.

Don Skippy:  My Dona's boyfriend and a right good fencer, Skippy is known across several kingdoms for his ability to talk continuously through any and all circumstances. 

M. Blackrose:
  The Laurel to whom I am apprenticed.  Maybe.  It all depends on how drunk everyone was . .

The Snuffleupadon:  When Don Skippy was just a cadet, his own don became innactive for several years.  After a time, newer fencers would say to Skippy, "I don't believe your don really exists.  I think he's a figment of your imagination," a snuffleupadon.

Dog 1:  Our Premier Dog, a Maremma/Golden Retriever blend who is less like a dog and more like a very intelligent cat in a large dog suit.  We sometimes tell people that he is part Great Pyr, because no one has ever heard of a Maremma.

Dog 2: Our late Golden Retriever who was very much a dog.  He was like a walking stereotype of dogness, and I miss his fuzzy face.

Dog 2.1: Adopted from Snorty Stompy and Healer Woman, Dog 2.1 is a large Aussie/Great Pyr mix.  He is very affectionate and likes to steal food, or plastic containers that used to hold food, or various garden-amendments that vaguely smell like food.  

The Puker: 
Our late cat, or to be more accurate, Sweetinookums's late cat and my late arch-nemesis.  He was a very cute and cuddly Siamaese mix, with an unfortunate habit of shoving his paws up people's nostrils.  Oh yeah, and, he had this digestive problem . . .

Not A Little Old Lady: also sometimes called NALOL.  She was my first landscaping client, way before I even realized I could make a living at landscaping.  She has gardened all her life, and is generally recognized by other gardeners across the city as Austin's Bulb Expert.  Obviously, she didn't hire me for my superior knowledge of horticulture; she hired me for my strong back.  The coworker who convinced me to work for NALOL described her as a little old lady who likes daffodils, but she didn't seem all that old to me.

Officially a Little Old Lady:  
After her 70th birthday, I changed NALOL's nickname.  70 counts as Old, whereas 65-69 is just "retirement age".
Tags: cast of characters

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