Six Month Attention Span

The new job is tough.  Not that the job itself if hard, once I caught up to the learning curve it got to the point where I can do 90% of it in my sleep and the other 10% is an interesting puzzle to be solved.  What is really hard, tho, is the schedule.  I work from 7-4, which allows me to drive to and from work without hitting bad traffic.  On the other hand, it's freaking 7 a.m. when I get to work!!  EWWWWW!!  The job is 30 miles from the house, so if I want to get there on time and have a good breakfast beforehand, I basically have to be out of bed by 5.  FIVE.  A. M. 

So, yeah, I'm tired, like, all the time now.  When I get home from work, and make dinner, and eat dinner, I have basically one or two hours of whatever-time before I start to get really really sleeeeepy.  Usually, the Sleeeeepy hits me around 8.  Which sucks because everything interesting I might want to do begins at 7 or 7:30. 

What time does fighter practice start?  7:30. 
What time do we gather at Thugette's for Sewing Night?  7:30. 
What time do movies, dance classes, and concerts start?  ahem.


And therefore, if you have missed seeing me at various social gathering over the past month, it was because I was asleep.

Last week at work I officially finished the classroom portion of the training.  All of next week I will be taking phone calls with a lot of supervision.  The week after that, I will officially be a customer service rep, spending 8 hours a day taking wall-to-wall phone calls.  Yay. 

My hope, tho, is that the actual work will be a little easier than the training.  I mean, it's fun to get paid to learn stuff, but I find it taxing to have to Pay Attention to something for eight hours straight.  It's much more invigorating to interact with people and do the work.  Plus, there's that whole thing where the teacher always had to teach the material three times . ..  I hate that.  First, he taught the subject for five minutes. I and half the class learned it.  Then, the other half of the class said, "What?  I don't get it . . . " So he taught it again.  Then, one or two stragglers said, "What page are we on?"  and the teacher taught it Again.  By that time I was either reading a novel or dozing off.  There were a few times where I missed a whole half hour of the class because I'd forgotten to tune back in for the next new lesson.  At the end of the day, the effort to stay awake and alert had worn me down.

I hope that the week after next I will have some energy in the evenings and can begin showing my face outside the house again.

Meanwhile,

The bank has decided to let me be a part of a Gov't program for poor people wherein I can continue to pay a mortgage and live in a house. 

The weird thing is that they've sent me two "information packets" over the past two weeks.  The first packet lists my future mortgage payment as $300 less than the previous mortgage payment.  This is good since I am currently earning about $3500 less than S used to earn, back in the day.  It's not an ideal mortgage payment, but it's better than the original amount.  HOWEVER, a week and a half after I go the first packet, I got a second packet that was identical to the first one except the dollar amount had changed . . . to the original payment.  The payment we made back when I was married to a highly paid computer programmer.

For those of you following along at home, my entire monthly salary is equal to the mortgage payment plus electric bill.  There is no money left over for the gas bill, the car insurance, the groceries, the phone bill, clothes, medicine, or dog food.  None.  Oh, and there's a second mortgage, too.  And a credit card bill from those days when I was trying to support a depressed, unemployed, and  suicidal spouse who was used to living on a high income and just couldn't face the reality of not eating in restaurants every single night without wanting to die.

So you see, that first information packet quoted a price that I like a lot better. I'd like it even better if it had been, say, $600 less.  As for that second packet of information . . . I'm thinking about setting fire to it and pretending it never got here.  I was so much less stressed out when I got the first packet and and then all that stress came right back when I got the second one.  I don't know which one is the correct amount, and I'm actually afraid to call the bank and ask.  And I'm really tired of being that stressed out.   It's starting to wear a little . . .

And that's the news.

Last weekend I went to Queen's and had a great time.  Elisabetta looks gorgeous (I'm sure there are millions of pictures online somewhere), and was very inspiring to us all.  We have an awesome Queen!

Now, on to the events of the day:( Blah blah blah )
So it was a good day.  I was dreading it all the night before -- there'd been so much stress in my life and I had missed so many practices that I was sure I would have a terrible tournament and be worn out and have to go home early.  But it all turned out nicely.  I am stronger than I think, sometimes.

To start with (those of you who are able to read my friends-locked posts will already know this), I am separated from my husband and saving up my dollars to fund our divorce.  It's been a little stressful, and tense and awkward, dealing with the end of a relationship.  Not to mention having to tell so many people what has happened.  Everyday I run into a friend or acquaintance who doesn't know, and I have to steel myself to recite the story all over again.  Then there's the logistics of it all.  I've spent the past month sorting through all the stuff we owned together, and even after we thought it was all done I kept finding little things he'd forgotten to take away . . . and I'd have to call him and arrange to meet his and them stand there and make a little small talk while I hand over the item . . .

Then there was the whole 'remembering how to live as a single woman' thing.  I was a little panicked at first.  I don't know how to maintain the reverse osmosis filter.  I can't solve wireless networking problems and my home computer runs on wireless.  Panic!  But of course, these issues are few and far between and all in all it's So Much Easier to not be living with him anymore that I am a little embarrassed.  I mean, shouldn't I be all . . . sad and stuff?  I am sad, really I am, but I'm more relieved than sad.

Next, there has been some car trouble, which was resolved fairly easily but expensively. 

Also, I am starting a new job soon (Tuesday, in fact).  This is tough.  There's the excitement of it all (at last, a way to pay my bills! Hooray!).  But mostly there's nervousness.  Big nervousness: I used to have a job very similar to this job and I only liked it for the first year; after that I hated it and couldn't wait to quit.  What if that happens again, and faster this time around?  Little nervousness:  What am I going to wear?  What am I going to pack for lunch?  Can I tolerate dressy shoes all day long? 

New job means scaling back the self-employed business.  My landscaping clients are fewer than they used to be (hooray for the economy), but the ones I still work for are nice people, and loyal to me.  I don't want to leave them in the lurch and, let's be honest, I would wither up and die if I couldn't play in gardens every week.  So I have to find a way to do both my day job and keep my business running.  Fortunately, I have the summer to figure things out, as the weather here is inhospitable to people and plants all summer long, so at best I will have six client appointments over two weeks.  Evenings and weekends I guess . . .

Then there's the foreclosure thing.  It's in limbo.  We're at a stage where the bank is trying to decide if I qualify for a governmental program that would allow me to make lower monthly payments and keep the house, etc.  Meanwhile, I'm not allowed to make any payments at all, which means my debt to them keeps growing and growing (we're up to 6 months going on 7 now).  They could decide at any time to reject my application, but they can string me along for another two months if they want.  They continue to schedule dates for auction in the midst of these two months, but tell me that it's only a formality and they will, about two days before each potential auction, probably cancel it because they can't actually sell the house while my paperwork is in limbo land.  Probably.  Call back next week to be sure . . .

If the bank rejects this application, I may have to file bankruptcy to save the house.  And, bankruptcy would interrupt my divorce proceedings.  So I have to figure out how to time all this, because I do actually need to be divorced as soon as possible.  S. has been making suicide threats and I don't know how much longer he will stick around.  As he has no Will, his death would send the house into probate, and that would further complicate the whole mortgage-bank-house thing.  So I need to be divorced real soon now.

In the midst of all this, I got a cold.  Followed by a sinus infection.  Usually I try to let my body fight these things, but I decided not to take any risks with my ability to earn an income and I begged my Dad for some blackmarket antibiotics.  He came through for me and I feel much better now. 

So that's how my past month or so has been.  Just thought I'd bring you all up to date.

I can't sleep when I'm hungry.  I've just always been like that.  No matter how tired I am, even if I have taken a sleeping pill . . . if I'm the slightest bit hungry -- no sleep.

So, today, I have a little stomach virus.  Sweetienookums had it first, and only felt bad for a day.  Therefore, I have high hopes that tomorrow I will be back to my normal Foodie self.  But today, I barely ate anything at all.  I had two bites of breakfast before I realized that I hate food and never want to see it again.  Then, during the day, I managed half a column of saltines.  Not because I wanted them but because I kept thinking, "maybe I'd like to eat something . . . . . nope."

And tonight, my stomach is growling at me, which I suppose means that I am hungry.  Anyway, it's keeping me awake.  Not much I can do about it though.  Normally I would go get something to eat but . . . Ewwww!

So many of my friends are off at Gulf Wars this week, which means I have a whole week of no fighter practices and no helping-other-people-sew.  I had planned to use this free time to get ahead on my personal sewing.  I have this long list, you see, of clothes I will need if I ever go to a week long SCA event (Pennsic), and I have less than 10% of the listed items.  Then, there's all the stuff Sweetienookums would need. 

But, no sewing has happened.  The only thing I have done is to take a length of fabric that was two yards long and cut it in half.  That's it.  I meant to zig-zag the edges, then wash it, then iron it, then make it into a petticoat . . .  but so far all I managed to do was cut it in half.  I got tired.  I felt unmotivated.

Part of the problem is that three of my weekly clients are at a "let's move heavy things around for several hours at a time" phase in their landscaping, and this wears me out.  When Sweetienookums is available, I drag him along and make him move the heavy things, but I still end up doing a fair amount of lifting.  And it all makes me rather tired.

Even when we had some heavy rains and I didn't work for three days, I was still tired.  I thought the rest would make me more energetic, but no, I felt really lazy and sleepy most of that week.  And the weekend.  And this week.

Hopefully, my body will adjust soon.  My muscles will catch up to the demands and I'll start to have more energy at the end of the day. 

Meanwhile, I spend a lot of time on the computer because resting my hands on a keyboard takes less energy than holding up a book.

It is Spring now, in case there were any doubts.  Oh yeah, we've had wildflowers for weeks, but you can never be sure there's not another cold front around the corner until the Mesquite trees start leafing out.  Once the Mesquite tree puts out it's leaves -- Winter is over.

Unfortunately, we haven't have very much in the way of rain, so this Spring is dry, dusty, and bland.

Usually I spend this time of year planting flowers and taking care of blooming plants.  But since it's so dry, there's not a lot of that to do.  Instead, I spend my time on heavier projects, like digging out paths, moving gravel, moving mulch, or digging large garden plots.  It' a bit of a strain on my muscles.  Especially my . . . wait, I have to look this up . . . Infraspinatus.  Infraspinatus, what a fun sounding word!  Sweetienookums has been working for me, as my "employee,"  so that is helpful.  His infraspinatus seems fine, although he is a little tired.

Thank goodness today is Friday, and I don't have to lift anything heavy until Monday. 

Young Rene posted this meme in his blog:

Comment to this post and I will give you 5 subjects/things I associate with you. Then post this in your LJ and elaborate on the subjects given.

I commented on his post and so he has given me five topics which I should write about in my blog.  He says:

Your topics: high school, books, gardening, french, your dad

( Read more... )

A week and a half ago, Iolo came down with "the crud."  His first symptoms began a day or so after we had a fighter practice at his house.  Then, a few days later, I spent an afternoon with Jenny, crafting.  The day after that, Jenny came down with "the crud."  Notice that I was in close proximity to two people within forty-eight hours of each of them getting "the crud."  Probably, they were each contagious carriers long before they felt their first symptoms.

I'm telling you all of this so that when I say that my joints are stiff and achy, and my head feels heavy, and my eyes feel like they are radiating heat, you will understand why I must then, also, tell you that Iolo and Jenny are EVIL !

I'm going back to bed.

There has been some discussion lately among some of the rapier fighters about blow-calling and blows, in general.  We've also been gossiping shamelessly about certain problem-children who can't seem to learn control.  Then, recently, one of my friends displayed a three week old set of bruises that were still purple, which she'd gotten at a Rapier Practice.  And today, one of my friends wrote about problems she was experiencing in a Chiv Practice.  So, after all these weeks of discussion about the right way to hit your friends with weapons, I have formed an opinion.

(Oh Dear Lord, she's formed An Opinion; quick, run and hide!)   ( Read more... )

Once upon a time, in the state of Texas, the only way a father could gain custody of his children was if the mother beat the children with tire chains while simultaneously snorting coke and robbing a bank at gunpoint, in front of one hundred witnesses, one of whom had to be a Baptist minister.

I know, because I was there.  My father tried, for ten years, to get custody of me and he was denied because "Little Girls need Mothers."

Lately, I've noticed that fathers are getting more of a fair shake in the courts and I am thrilled, thrilled, to see this happening.  Some of my friends probably think it's weird that the first thing I ask about their children is not, "Oh, how old are they?" but, "Do you have custody?"  In my head, you see, I am secretly keeping score (Dads vs. The Establishment). 

When my friend Thugette told me that her three step-sons' mother was abusive, I really felt for those kids and wanted their father to get custody.  Thugette's husband is a kind man who really cares about his and Thugette's kids.  And those kids deserve to have a Dad like that, every single day.  Fortunately, he was doing everything possible to make that happen. 

While some of my friends may follow their favorite team's scores or the career of their favorite American Idol contestant, I followed Thugette's Family's custody battle.  I held my breath through the mediations.  I nervously reminded Thugette to save every single receipt for every single item of clothing or school supplies she bought those kids.  I nagged her to keep records of all the abuse.  I waited for the hearing date to be announced.

But, there will be no hearing because suddenly, with no warning, the mother just signed custody over to Thugette's husband.  Just like that.  "Okay, I guess you can have the boys.  Come get them tonight."  She did this in front of the mediator, and signed documents, so there is no backing out now (not without another legal battle).

When Thugette told me, I almost tackled her with my enthusiastic hug.  I was almost as thrilled as they were.  I wish things like this had happened when I was a kid. I wish they had happened for me.  Even so, I'm grateful for my Dad, and I am celebrating this victory with Thugette's whole family. 

The Snuffleupadon has a job!!  His final job interview was this morning, and he starts work next Wednesday.  He'll be working at a restaurant less than half a mile from our house, so he can walk or bike to work easily.  He's starting on the bottom rung, but the restaurant owner seems very excited about his qualifications and plans to fast-track him to be The Manager.  This is great news for everyone. Snuffleupadon will have some income, and we get some rent money out of him -- Woo Hoo!

Also in news, Sweetienookums had a very positive sounding phone interview this morning . . .for a job here in town!  As much as I would miss the fun I always have when I am the subject of gossip, I'd really like to keep my husband close to home for both our sanity's sake.  Rumors about me and the Snuffleupadon will just have to wait.

Squidward came over today so I could babysit him while his parents attended a wake.  A friend of theirs lost her parents in a private-plane wreck and they wanted to be at the wake for them without a toddler in tow.

Squidward has grown a lot and can now basically be trusted not to put strange things in his mouth.  Therefore, I felt safe letting him run around for whole minutes at a time without direct supervision.  His current favorite word is "Backhoe."

He asked me several times for a video, so we sat in front of the computer and surfed Youtube.  Sesame Street was pretty interesting for a few minutes, but then he got bored.  I tried a couple of kid's music videos and no luck there.  Finally, I hit on Speed Racer, and he found that Fascinating.  Next time he comes over, I'll try to be prepared in advance with not only Speed Racer, but also Bob the Builder ("Truck!  Backhoe!")

 

Kingdom A&S was lots of fun, especially since I didn't enter anything.  It was really nice, for a change, to go to an event where I neither had to fight in a tournament or work. All I did all day was chat with friends, eat samples of food from all the cooking displays, and learn a new period game.  Oh, and, I learned how to judge A&S entries, and read other people's documentation with an eye to improving my own. 

Lady Anne entered the competition with her "Snowball Suit" and did very well.  She will be representing the kingdom at Gulf Wars in March. 

I did wear the dress, and I'm waiting for all the photographers to put their photos up on the web.  If someone got a good shot of me in the dress, I'll post it.  If not, I'll get Sweetienookums to take some pictures of the dress later.

I also talked to Loud G about apprenticing to her.  We couldn't have a long conversation, but we are meeting at her house this Saturday to cook period recipes and discuss the terms of my Indenture.

Thanks to everyone who has asked me if I am entering the green Campi dress in Kingdom A&S.  No, I'm not.  Seriously, Not.  In fact, I'm planning to wear it during the day at Kingdom A&S, an event that is also sometimes called, "The A&S competition which I do not intend to enter this year."

Dona G and I are carpooling to Houston for the event.  I'm going to spend the day looking at pretty things and gossiping with people.  Dona G has to go to a Laurel meeting.  Neither of us are entering the A&S competition.  Probably, while I am there, I should grab a word with Loud G and see if I'm actually her apprentice, or she was just kidding/ drunk/ humoring Dona G. 

The day after I don't enter the dress in Kingdom A&S, Dona G and I will drive home, with a bit of a detour to the fighter practice at Fort Hood. 

Later, I will try to post pictures of myself wearing the dress which I am not entering in Kingdom A&S. 

While we wait for the Snuffleupadon to move in, we have continued to use the bathroom next to the guest room / his bedroom because it's convenient.  But today, the day before the Snuffleupadon is supposed to move in, the toilet has begun to make a strange jack-hammering sound when it's flushed.  I'm perplexed.  I've never had that happen to me, ever.  There was the dorm room toilet that flushed continuously, all the time, until we got the RA to call a plumber.  But I've never had one make jack-hammer sounds.  It's really weird . . .

It's like the bathroom knows we're getting a roommate and is deliberately acting up.

So anyway . . .Hey, Snorty Stompy, do you know what would cause that?

*Edit:  Sweetienokums found that the valve at the wall was almost completely shut off.  He opened it back up and the noise hasn't happened since.  Now all I have to figure out is why the valve was in that position.  No one moved it.

I was the Head of Entourage, which basically consists of making a schedule of the day, figuring out which people are not otherwise busy at which times, and then bullying those people into working entourage in their free hours.   When both the Baron and Baroness are in attendance, we need many Entourage Volunteers.  However, it turned out that His Excellency attended the funeral in Houston and therefore was not even at  Candlemas until 5 p.m.  So, I only had to schedule entourage for Her Excellency.  Keeping track of Attending Her Excelency is basically a one-person-at-a-time job, so I only needed a few people.  Actually, I had a conversation with one of Their Majesties' ladies-in-waiting about this.  She was impressed by how many different people she had seen "working Entourage" during the day, but I explained that most of the people who do Entourage duties at local events are also WORKING at that event.  So, one of us might spend a couple of hours at the gate, then do a couple of hours at entourage, then go wash dishes in the kitchen.  There really isn't anyone available to spend the whole day doing nothing but keeping Gwenneth out of trouble working Entourage.  If both of their Excellencies had been on site for the whole day, it would have taken a minimum of eight people to be their entourage.  Then I'd have also wanted two people to be emergency back-ups.  I LIKE redundancy in my planning!

I entered my work-in-progress dress in the A & S competition and got respectable scores.  All of the critiques were constructive-criticism.  They were also, funnily enough, things I knew already.  Seriously, I could have written them all myself:  "Things that are wrong with this dress and my documentation for this dress." 

( Let's go over them, shall we? )

Anyway, in conclusion, one of the judges was very cool and only wrote critiques that I had already thought of, and therefore I like her a lot and find her extremely intelligent and discerning.  The other judge made some good comments but went off into the weeds with eyelets so I am less inclined to like her.  In both cases, however, I am happy to say that NONE of the critique I received were of the "I didn't bother to read your documentation, I'm just going to announce that you did it wrong" variety that I have often heard other people complaining about. I was worried about that, but also rather hoping for it.  Worried, because I would hate it if someone said "X isn't period" right after I had just spent my time proving "X is period", but hoping for it because I knew, I knew, that my documentation was slip-shop and yucky and I didn't really want anyone to read it.

Anyway, I worried about A&S pretty much the whole day, but was mostly able to distract myself with tasks related to Entourage.  Until, that is, Her Excellency went over to look at the A&S table and I had to stand around pretending not to care that one of the judges was reading and re-reading my documentation and then writing me so much commentary that she had to turn the paper over and start on the back! !eleventy!!

But then A&S was finally over . . .

( Things that are not A&S also happened. )

So it was a fabulous event and I enjoyed it very much. 

There was only one bad thing about the whole event and it's this:  Gunthar does not stand still!!  He moves around, like, all the time.    So there I was, chatting away with Thugette, Young Rene, and my Cadet-Sister, when His Majesty Gunthar would go zooming by.  Whichever one of us saw him first would whisper, "The King" and all of us would then bow or curtsy to the king.  No problem, right?  Except, as I've already said, Gunthar does not stand still.  He must have zoomed past us at least once every three minutes, so by the time our conversation was over the four of us had bowed and curtsyed until we were exhausted!    And so, if I am stiff and sore today, I blame this on Gunthar and not the dancing.  Sorry,lady-eliz , but it's all his fault!

This is a long post, no?  I would like to write about Melee practice, and how totally kick-butt lady-eliz  was, but I think that will have to wait for later.  For now, I just want to say that Our Queen is Really Awesome!

We are getting a room-mate soon.  We need one, to help with the bills, and it just so happened that a friend of ours was contemplating a move from Dallas to Austin and wanted to rent a room from someone.  That, or all of my friends got together to see who would house The Snuffleupadon and his cat, and since I missed that meeting, I was nominated.

Orginaly, The Snuffleupadon was going to move mid to late January.  Then, after he considered the mountain of stuff to be moved out of his house and into storage, the Snuffleupadon decided he would wait until the first weekend of February, aka this coming weekend, before moving.  Then, the Snuffleupadon decided that the weekend was his best opportunity to have a garage sale before moving, and so now his ETA is Wednesday. 

However, he did manage to send some furniture and boxes, so we have that as proof that he exists and will actually move in someday. 

Okay, so that's the first bit of news.  The second bit of news is that Sweetienookums is interviewing with a company in Pittsburgh for a short term (2-3 months) contract job.  If he is hired, he would leave for Pittsburgh Really Soon. 

And last night we had this conversation:

Me: So you'd be leaving right away?
Sweetie: Pretty much immediately.
Me:  Wow. You move to Pittsburgh and the Snuffleupadon moves in with me.  That's going to be a hilarious set of rumors!
Sweetie: Oh My God, I forgot all about him!
Me:  You forgot our new room-mate?
Sweetie:  Well, he's so quiet . . .

Don Christoforo has died.  My deepest sympathies to his wife Mea, his daughter, and his friends and family.  I'm so sorry they have to suffer this.
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

            -- W. H. Auden

At the party last night, everyone was very impressed by Dona G's new ear-rings.  Dona G, however, now swears that she is never having any medical or other procedures done in the presence of someone who has a blog.  Meanwhile, I am already planning her tattoo . . .

Anyway, last night there was a Superbowl party, and if you don't already know my thoughts on that subject let me quote a popular television character (If you can name the television character, you get a prize):

"Anthropologically speaking sports are a way for boys to practice their battle skills.  The truth is, athletes are basically emotionally arrested in boyhood, acting out childish games as though they have adult importance. You know, the only thing more juvenile are grown adults who watch sports."



I normally avoid Superbowl Parties, but this was thrown by some SCAers, so I knew that the party would end up as a sewing and gossip night with some football in the background.  I brought along my current project, which might have been a mistake. 
( It's dangerous to sew in a room full of ambitious career SCAers )

I am an Evil Cadet.

I convinced my Dona to get her ears pierced.

How she got this far in life without ear-rings is beyond me. Now that I think about it, I think she may be the only person in my whole acquaintance who does not have some sort of piercing. Other than Grandmother . . .. But anyway, now that she's a Baroness, and a member of the nobility and stuff, she has an obligation to be bejeweled. She has a duty to the barony, you know! And besides, she can't really reproduce that Moroni portrait unless she can wear ear-rings.



Doesn't she look thrilled?

I wouldn't trust my Dona's ears to just any mall employee with a staple gun and a bottle of antiseptic spray. No, I made her go to a Sixth Street Tattoo Parlor where people really understand body art (and autoclave their tools). She got some lovely stainless steel hoops and there was only a little blood.

They grow up so fast . . .